corellianrogue: (Hakkai and Gojyo- lean on me)
Guys. Guys, Captain America made me cry. I don't even read comic books, guys. This isn't fair. Make my heart stop hurting.





...Stupid, amazing movie.




*cries*
corellianrogue: (Jaejoong- quiet)
Heaven's Postman made me cry, but not the ending.

Cut for tiny spoilers, just in case any of you haven't seen it yet but are going to. )

Otherwise this weekend, I've been mostly watching Sungkyunkwan Scandal. Aaaaaaaaaaah, Yoochunnie, so wonderful. Even if Yeorim is my favorite character by quite a bit. XD

...And even if I SHOULD be working on my [livejournal.com profile] nuna_fanworks exchange fic instead of watching Kdramas all weekend. >.>;;;;;;;;



And how about a little angst to round out the post. )


Sorry. I guess maybe watching a movie about a guy who takes letters to heaven from people who lost their loved ones wasn't the best idea right now. In retrospect.
corellianrogue: (DBSK- HoMin not all black and white)
My mom called last night to tell me they'd put my cat to sleep that afternoon. She was very sick, and it was the best thing to do, and I haven't been home in ages to even see her, but...

I miss my kitty.




There is an odd sort of joke to this icon, but only one person will get it.
corellianrogue: (Gojyo and Mai- poppies)
In retrospect, I really hate the universe's sense of irony.
corellianrogue: (pride by sky_dark)
You know, I keep thinking every time something happens that THAT is REALLY the worst life can throw at me, nothing else could possibly top it.... and then something does.

My mom's been having health problems for a while now, mostly because she refuses to go to the doctor for just about anything, ever. We've tried to convince her to go before, but... *shrugs* that's Mom, for you, never tries to take care of herself when she can be taking care of someone else.... Anyway, the story as my sister told it to me when she called a few minutes ago is this: My mom, for some reason, decided that she would go to the hospital to get herself checked out today. She headed over to Fairbury (although our town has a hospital, it's crappy and if you actually want to get BETTER, you don't go there) and she got checked out and they immediately sent her up here to Lincoln. Apparently her kidneys have stopped working, probably from all the pain meds and junk she's been on lately and they can't do dialysis (is that even spelled right?) at the small hospital in Fairbury.

This is not a pity post. I don't want all the "oh, hugs, it'll be alright" sentiments that usually follow this type of post, nice as those comments are. Just... if you read this, and you follow any religion or faith or way of life at all... hell, even if you don't.... pray for my family. My mom is the life of our family, we can't bear to lose her. *I* can't bear to lose her. Pray, send energy, meditate for her, whatever way of life you lead, I'm not one to turn down help wherever it may come from. I realize this may not be the most serious thing in the world, I don't know, I'm not a doctor or hell, even a biology major. Now I'm rambling. I don't know anything other than that she's being placed on dialysis and they don't know what exactly is wrong, or if they do, no one has told me about it. I figured you, whoever out there might read this, can maybe take a minute or two out of your day to think about a woman who has never wanted more out of life than to have her family happy and healthy.

I'm hoping it will turn out not to be serious. We all are. That's all we can do right now. I'm going to try to go on doing homework and goofing off and... just not think about this until I have to, I suppose. I have a lot to do in the next three weeks, and, at this point in time, I'm afraid school has to come before sitting in a waiting room waiting for news. My brother and sister are there, they'll let me know if anything happens. Maybe that's avoidant and stupid, but... I don't know. Family, (and those of you out there who have earned that name) if you're reading this, I love you. Time's too short sometimes not to say that every chance you get.

Heh... her birthday is in a week... happy birthday, Mom.
corellianrogue: (pride by sky_dark)
So, I'm not dead yet. I've been neglecting LJ these last few days, and it will probably be worse. I'm sorry, f-list, but I realize you don't want to read about the boringness and angst that is my life anymore than I really want to write it down. Course... that's assuming anyone READS this journal, anyway (yes, family, I know you do, but you can just call me). So until further notice, or until I feel that something interesting enough to warrant an LJ post happens to me, I'm going to be semi-abandoning this sucker. I just don't have the time, energy, or will to keep it up at the moment. I just need a break or something. So, signing off, it's been great. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
corellianrogue: (pride by sky_dark)
"Those who don't try, never look foolish." I believe that shall be my new motto. And what's so great about trying in the first place, hmm?

Anyway, thought I should post, if only to prove I'm not dead....yet.... With the way this semester is going, who knows. Ask me again this time next week. I believe I shall also become a recluse, merely because I can. I'll probably be around, so feel free to come find me, but... meh, I'm tired. And now I have class... joy. /sarcasm
corellianrogue: (squall by fatali)
Yeah, I wasn't sure if I wanted to put this up or not, but I figure if I'm going to give any kind of representation of my life on this thing, the bad stuff has to go up, too, right? *sigh*... My mom called this morning. My dog died yesterday. Didn't look like he'd been in any pain or anything, but it seems like he probably got into something poisonous. We don't know. Tucker was the coolest dog, and even though I haven't seen him in like six months because I haven't been home, I'm really gonna miss him. Yeah...

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Tucker was... he was crazy. A lot like me. He'd go after stuff with such a single minded pursuit that he'd practically walk into trees because he wouldn't notice they were there when he was stalking a ground squirrel or something. He loved water, any kind. He'd swim in the river when Dad would let him. He tore up a hose on one of Dad's center pivots because he was leaping at the spray of water. Never said he was the smartest dog in the world... He was always too scared of livestock to herd them, though he tried a couple times, border collie to the core.. so instead he herded people whenever we'd let him. He was the traditional border black-and-white, one white foot, white face and chest, and a white ruff that was such a thin line it was usually hidden under the black fur. He was a farm dog. His fur was always filled with burrs and he picked up a tick or two every week during the summer because he loved to run around in our windbreak. His tail was so bushy that the black fur actually hid the white tail tip. He was always ready to play, loved to chase anything you'd throw for him. He'd always meet you at the car when you got home, tail wagging, happy as anything that you were back. He knew a few commands, but what use does a farm dog have for fancy manners? Maybe he couldn't shake, or roll over, or play dead, but he knew how to 'get out of there' and when to move away so you could shut the car door, and he knew how to 'go find Dad' out at the shed... All the things a farm dog needs to know. I'm gonna miss him.
corellianrogue: (Default)
Ugh, Philosophy is FINALLY DONE. World of Classical Greece, too, but I'm kinda sad cause I liked that class, but FINALLY NO MORE PHILOSOPHY E.V.A.R!!!!!!!! Seriously, there's hatin' going on here, that class sucked majorly like whoa. See?! It's made me completely incoherent. And what's even better- I don't think I failed it... Don't think I aced it, either, but NO FAILAGE, WHEEEEEEEEE! Two more finals to go.

Roomie's moving out in the next couple days (hopefully tomorrow). Need more time. Lots more time. No time. ick. Room's a mess, but since it's a moving out, organized type mess, not much I can do about it. But the sooner she's out, the sooner Ani can get in (and apparently someone else is moving into Ani's old room in the endless cycle of musical rooms we've got going on up here). So Ani's gotta be completely out in time for this other girl to get in.. BEFORE 5:00. *sigh* Am I the only one foreseeing problems here? Specially if current roomie isn't planning on getting out till sometime Thursday or Thursday night?

Seems like everyone I know is either really depressed or having nervous breakdowns. I feel sad for everybody. *sad* Lots of bad stuff and bad stress all hitting at the same time = not happiness. If you are someone I know and are feeling sad/depressed/crazy or even just like your normal self... I <3 you all and hope you get lots better. Feel better, k? *huggles all and sundry*

stuff

Nov. 3rd, 2005 07:53 pm
corellianrogue: (Default)
... )

I either need a hug or a slap upside the head. Sad thing is, I'm not sure which... You're warned for the above thingy. It's not happy. And... yeah... I don't feel like putting details on here, for once. If you know me, you can get ahold of me. Although, why you would want to... meh. yeah.

Only a few hours till con. I'll try to be happy by then. Look, smiley :)
corellianrogue: (Default)
I'm so sleepy, but I've felt so bad about neglecting this thing, since I know there are a COUPLE of you out there reading this. I had to update. I've been way too busy the last couple of days, but if I can just get through the next couple of hectic days, I'll be fine. I think. Maybe. But the rehearsals for Vagina Monologues are not as bad as some shows I've worked on, they're just soooooo long. But I they're pretty fun, too. And starting tomorrow, we'll have an audience, so the energy will pick up some. Hopefully, anyway. :) We'll see tomorrow. I can't wait to see what an audience will think of the show. It's so much fun. Learning a lot, too.

Life is going interestingly. Had a mini-nervous breakdown yesterday. That was fun. I think I was anticipating how crappy today would be. And it was crappy. Not really in a bad way, exactly, just in a 'oh great, what more could happen?' no time to breathe way. Something like that. An almost five-hour rehearsal didn't help. Talking to my bro just now did, though, so it's not so horrible.

I need to pet a kitty.

Till next time, just remember: the clitoris is a bundle of 8,000 nerves, which is twice the number in the penis.
corellianrogue: (Default)
Sometimes I feel like that old saying "somedays you can't win for losing" was written expressly for me. I swear, if I have to put up with one more exercise in humiliation in that stupid class...I don't know how much more I can handle. It's like...imagine you're playing a game, but the rules keep changing and all the other players are playing a completely different game...with a ten point lead on you. You have no way to catch up, ever. What's the point of trying then, right? Yeah, I don't know, either. I think that's part of my problem, my brain isn't made for that kind of illogic. I feel like I'm learning NOTHING, and not for lack of trying or having nothing more to learn, just that the information is being presented in a way that there is no way I will ever grasp it. That's what it seems like anyway, and considering the situation, there's no way I can fix said problem. So the entire situation is hopeless, and so am I, for the moment anyway. God, this just keeps getting more and more like some sick joke the universe has decided to play on me. Aren't I the lucky lottery winner? Oh yeah, and I just realized I can count the number of times I've really cried in the last year on one hand. That doesn't exactly seem healthy, now does it? Yeah, I'm having such a great time in college. Fuck, my entire life has just been one big laugh after another for the last couple years. I suppose I'll stop whining now, and I know this hasn't actually made any sense, but right now I don't really care. Not like anybody else does either, after all.
corellianrogue: (Default)
Okay, so, big surprise and stuff, I didn't get a call back. Yeah, I know, I was shocked too. The scariest part is, I'm beginning to not care. I mean, it used to hurt when I didn't get a call back but now it's becoming something of a status quo. Because, let's see, of the roughly eight auditions I've been in (note I'm only counting the ones with callbacks, ones without open a whole new can of worms) I've gotten exactly one callback. Granted, I got a part in that show, but it was -- and I quote the director here, folks -- because she wanted someone who had been in movement and stage makeup class. Yay, I got in on a technicality. Oh yeah, and did I mention that, because of the tight run schedule, there were only a very few actresses who COULD be called back because they weren't already in something else, and oh yeah, I was the only one who satisfied both those conditions. So whoop-de-do, I could have acted like shit and she would have cast me because I could make myself look like I was 80 years old. Great. Yes, I'm sure we've all had our share of whiny actors on tv and such by now, but let me tell all you non-existent viewers out there in TV land, I don't give a flying rat's ass right now, okay? No one even reads this thing, so what's the point of censoring myself? It'd be like bleeping out words in my mind. Not gonna happen. So I'm starting to get just a TEENSY bit unhappy with the fact that FRESHMEN and people who HAVE NEVER ACTED BEFORE are getting parts ahead of me. And you know what, I know they're probably better than me, okay I admitted it, I suck as an actor. Fine. But the kicker of the whole problem is, I can't just give it up and walk away. You know why? Well neither do I. Stupidity runs in my family, I know, but I mean, come on. It's like the universe has decided that I'm the perfect subject for some perverse experiment or something. "how long until she goes on a killing spree?" I don't know.

Life is funny that way, sometimes, you know? Doesn't even pause at lemons, just skips straight to the steel wool.


On a slightly up note, if anyone should happen to care, at all, I've now decided that opening myself for the scathing wounds of critics in one creative arena isn't enough, so I've decided to start posting any short stories I write over at www.FictionPress.net. Look for JLMack, that's me. I hope to start posting some stuff up here, eventually, too, but we'll see.

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December 2012

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