one of THOSE days

[corellianrogue]

Sometimes I feel like that old saying "somedays you can't win for losing" was written expressly for me. I swear, if I have to put up with one more exercise in humiliation in that stupid class...I don't know how much more I can handle. It's like...imagine you're playing a game, but the rules keep changing and all the other players are playing a completely different game...with a ten point lead on you. You have no way to catch up, ever. What's the point of trying then, right? Yeah, I don't know, either. I think that's part of my problem, my brain isn't made for that kind of illogic. I feel like I'm learning NOTHING, and not for lack of trying or having nothing more to learn, just that the information is being presented in a way that there is no way I will ever grasp it. That's what it seems like anyway, and considering the situation, there's no way I can fix said problem. So the entire situation is hopeless, and so am I, for the moment anyway. God, this just keeps getting more and more like some sick joke the universe has decided to play on me. Aren't I the lucky lottery winner? Oh yeah, and I just realized I can count the number of times I've really cried in the last year on one hand. That doesn't exactly seem healthy, now does it? Yeah, I'm having such a great time in college. Fuck, my entire life has just been one big laugh after another for the last couple years. I suppose I'll stop whining now, and I know this hasn't actually made any sense, but right now I don't really care. Not like anybody else does either, after all.